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02
[CB] We have with us this evening, Tom McKean, Tom McKean
is traditional music resident in Banff and Buchan and we're
really pleased to have him amongst us this evening. Speak
to him, make him welcome, he's very very interested in folk
sayings, folk music, folk song. Sir we do welcome you. Give
him a hand.
[Applause.]
[CB] And now, it's my present duty, well duty
is too strong a word boys, but you know what I mean. It is
my pleasure to welcome The Belly Band, comprising, Ken Ramsay,
Ian Sutherland, Kenny Sim and Bob Watson.
[Applause.]
[CB] Ye ken at Bob Watson's been revising Scots'
Wa hey. It's Scots wa hey, and Scots wa hinna, Scots we will
and Scots we winna. But we're a very willing tonight and the
belly band is going to kick off. We thought when Ian and Bob
were waiting for the two Kenny's, I said you're waitin for
the buckle and they said fit! Well I said every belly band
needs a buckle. [Laughs.] Yes, it's poor I know but it'll
do to start with. And you a ken what a belly band is don't
you? You'll remember the bothy ballad:
We hiv a gallant kitchie dame, her name is
Bessie Broon
It wid fairly tak a saiddle girth her middle tae ging roon
[CB] It's that kind of belly band, or is it?
It is indeed.
[CB] It is. OK. Without more ado then, ladies
and gentlemen a big hand for the belly band.
Right ladies and gentlemen, is is a sang, I
think it's the wrang time tae play it actually cause Charlie's
aye here, it's ca'd 'Bonnie Charlie's Noo awa but he's aye
here! [Laughs.] O he's awa.
[CB] You did say bonnie didn't you?
Right lads. We're into clapping along and stamping
your feet and whistling and jeering and shouting, and we'll
give out instruments later. Maracas. Probably hit someone
in the face over there.
03
Will ye no come back again, will ye no come back again
That's a lot ye canna be, will ye no come back again
Bonnie Charlie's noo awa,
Safely ower the friendly main,
????
Will ye no' come back again.
Will ye no come back again?
Will ye no come back again?
Better loved ye canna be,
Will ye no come back again?
Ye trusted in your Hieland men,
Ye trusted in brave Chairlie;
They saw ye hidin in the glen.
Death and exile bravely.
Will ye no come back again?
Will ye no come back again?
Better loved ye canna be,
Will ye no come back again?
We watched ye in the gloamin' hour,
We watched thee in the mornin' grey
And though a thousand pounds they'd gie,
Oh, there was nane that wad betray.
Will ye no come back again?
Will ye no come back again?
Better loved ye canna be,
Will ye no come back again?
Audience joins in and sings
Will ye no come back again?
Will ye no come back again?
Better loved ye canna be,
Will ye no come back again?
Sweet the lav'rock's note and lang,
Sweet lilting up the glen;
But to me he sings this sang
"Will he no' come back again?"
Will ye no come back again?
Will ye no come back again?
Better loved ye canna be,
Will ye no come back again?
Will ye no come back again?
[Applause.]
Thank you very much, sounded good out there.
Need some maraccas yes, definitely. [Passes out some musical
instruments - much laughter.] This is about the guys that
used to go recruitin men, to go and fight for their country.
It's ca'd Twa Recruitin Sergeants, and it's got a brilliant
rhythm. Right if the people with the maraccas and the bells
aren't playing loud enough, I want you to go boooooo. [Laughs.]
04
Twa recruiting sergeants came frae the black watch
Through markets and fairs some recruits for to catch
And aw that they listed was forty twa
So list my bonny laddie, come awa
So it's over the mountain and over the main
Through Gibraltar tae France and Spain
Wi a feather to your bonnet, a kilt upon your knee
So list my bonny laddie and come awa
(Now if I find anybody not clapping or singing
or doing something, they'll have to come out here and sing!)
Now laddie you canna know the danger that you're
in
If your horses was to fleg and your house was to ruin
That greedy, old farmer winna pay your fee
So list bonny laddie come awa wi' me
So it's over the mountain and over the main
Through Gibraltar to France and Spain
Wi a feather to your bonnet, a kilt upon your knee
So list my bonny laddie come awa wi' me
So its intae the barn and oot o the byre
That greedy auld fairmer thinks he'll never tire
A slavery job of low degree
So list my bonny laddie come awa wi' me
So it's over the mountain and over the main
Through Gibraltar tae France and Spain
With a feather in your bonnet, a kilt upon your knee
So list my bonny laddie come awa wi' me (Let's hear you!)
Oh laddie, if you've got a sweetheart and bairn
You'll easy get rid of that ill-spun yarn
Twa rattles o the drum and that'll pay it a
So list my bonny laddie come come awa
So it's over the mountains and over the main
Through Gibraltar tae France and Spain
Wi a feather to your bonnet, and a kilt upon your knee
So list my bonny laddie come awa wi' me
So list my bonny laddie, come awa wi me.
[Applause.] Thank you very much.
05
[CB] Alright, boys, that wis great. Aye, I kent ye would be
good. Now in the Western Isles they would have called is a
ceilidh, down in Ayrshire nowadays they would hae called it
a 'grand wee nicht', another name might be 'glam ???', some
of you in the North East here mebbe remember there was a kind
of entertainment that wis styled, a 'conversasione'. Thanks
again boys, it's nae abody that can dae it!!! [Laughs.] But
I'm going to call up another man who I know can also dae it,
he's Alan Siller, he's grallocht the haggis the nicht already.
Come away Alan. [Applause.]
06
[AS] Last year fen I wis amon ye, I gaed ye a twa three Burns
recitations if ye min, and the een that I did was 'The Moose',
and eh, last wik I got a letter from a wifie that I hinna
seen for aboot thirty year [audience 'the moose is died',
[Laughs.] The moose is well and truly died, there's nae doot
aboot it. But eh, she sent me this poem, I da'e ken if it's
any relation o yours, Gordon Harper or no, it's written by
a Mrs Mae Harper, and she lived in Keith and she wrote it
when she wis 83, and it's the moosie's reply tae Robbie, and
I thought this was affa good.
Ye muckle thochtless hammerin brute
How could ye cruelly turn me oot
When my wee hoose is snug and cute
This caul caul nicht,
I would richt fen gie thee a cloot
Wi a ma micht
Ye spoke a nature's social union
Which counts for nowt in my opinion
For weel we ken it's man's dominion
Ower a the world
That causes a the strife and trouble
As sure as death
Ye speak o thievin Robbie man
Twas dished oot in generous haun
By him above who made the plan
Even for a moose
Tae get a nibble noo and than
In his ane wee hoose
Ma hoosie's scattered far and wide
I dinna see far I can bide
There's nithin for't but tae run and hide
In some quiet nook
For shelter has been promised a
In his big book
Ye think I'm blessed compared wi thee
The truth o that I canna see
If ye hid jist behaved like me
Ower a the years
There's nithin now need trouble thee
Or cause thee tears.
[Applause.]
07
[CB] Thank you Alan, thank you very much. [Applause.]
Well that was the moose's reply to Robbie Burns,
I offer you for a few moments, Buchan's reply to Robbie Burns'
assertion that love is like a red, red rose. Thus Burns. But
in Buchan we hiv a jingle,
'Oh loves, like a jube, jube',
Love's like a jube jube, sprinklint ower wi sugar
And anither een would change it tae soor ??? a the gither
But suppose she widnae hae, it's like lyin on a rock
Wi a thoosan meggie moany feets, crawlin doon yer back.
[Laughs. Applause.]
08
[CB] Now in the West they have the ????, at least I think
that's how you pronounce it, I think it's the gaelic for the
mouth music, meery, meery moosh, moosh or something like that.
[Laughs.] Well, I've picked up a few of the rags and tags
during the three years I was on the island of Isla. We, in
Scotland have the equivalent and we have an exponent of that
equivalent tonight. Gordon Easton is going to exemplify the
gentle art of diddling. Applause.]
09-10
[GE] Weel, thank ye a'body, but will ye diddle along wi us.
Just hae a wee shottie. Min fan ye used tae hae yer dances
in the barns and the ??? an at, ye hid somebody wi a fiddle
and a melodian, I've telt ye is afore, but I'll tell ye again.
They used tae gie them a lot of fusky, ye ken, a lot o nips,
and they got the best oot o them, but some o them tik ower
muckle fusky, and seen they ??? that they couldnae. So they
hid tae fall back tae diddle a bittie. So for a waltzie, [diddles
the rhythm of a waltz]. Ye could waltz tae that couldn't ye?
[diddles]. Come on diddle wi us. At's nae a good diddle, but
it's nae bad. [Audience joins in]. [Diddles]. See ye would
die the Hielan Scottische next, it tik a bittie mair win!
[Laughs.] [Audience joins in]. [Applause.]
[CB] Er, thank you very much Gordon, and now
ladies and gentlemen I assure you that is an art form. It
eh, it looks easy, but there's rules and regulations. Now
Gordon will not mind if I tell you that he is actually a champion
diddler. [Laughs, applause.]
11
[CB] Tom is coming, going to follow through with an example
of the, I don't know if I've got the pronunciation quite right,
Tom, the porter ???, well you can tell them again. Now, Tom's
going to exemplify that, and he's going to do that in the
language of the Garden of Eden, because you know that the
first words that Adam said to Eve in the Garden of Eden was
'????', oh please yourselves! [Laughs.]
12
[TM] Diddling.
[Applause.]
[CB] Thank you very much Tom, I personally
and the company, we all very much ppreciated that. [Applause.]
[GE] If ye wis tae put oors and mine thegither,
whit would you get? [Laughs]
[CB] Aye, you two must get together
13
[CB] And now Charlie Thompson, grateful for you comin along
tonight.
14
[CT] The first een is is country couple who hid a craftie.
And oh, he wis greedy. Tae tell ye the truth, he'd the greed
o hell. Laughs. And a his life he jist telt her, noo ca canny
ma quine, ca canny. Weel he wis on his death bed, and he called
her ben the hoose. Noo, he says I'm just aboot awa. Dinna
spare ony expense on me now, jist howk a hole in the midden
and pit me in't. I dinna want ye tae spend onything. Oh but
we'll hae tae dae something. No, dinna. And he keeled ower.
So she phoned up the newspapers, and she says, 'ma man's died,
can you put it in the papers', oh aye, no she says, I hinna
tae put in a lot, can ye jist put in 'Billy fae hilly's deid'.
A but, if ye put in mair, ye can still get it
for the same price. How muckle mair words. Oh just twa, or
three. How muckle though. Three. Oh well, 'Billy fae Hilly's
deid, Fordson for sale'.
[Laughs. Applause.]
15
[CT] Now, I expect I'll get a wallop on the back o the heid
fae Charlie wi this een. I dinna ken if I telt ye is een last
year, aboot the lad, well it wisnae a lad, it wis masel really.
I div get a haircut noo and again and is time we decided tae
ging awa tae Italy. Now fit I'm tellin ye is true, I'll ???
for is. So I gaed tae the hairdressers, and I said can ye
gies a good haircut cause I'm awa tae Italy for ma holidays.
Oh aye, and far are ye gan in Italy. Tourin. Are ye going
to Rome? Oh, I'm gan tae Rome. Are you going tae see the Pope.
Yes, I'm going to see the Pope. So he's cuttin awa ma heid
and at wis a richt. So I gaed ma holiday, and I come back
and the hairs growin in again, so back I gings tae get ma
hair cut again. And he's cuttin awa at the heid, and he says,
well did ye hae a good holiday? Jist oot o this world, lovely.
Did ye see the Pope? Yes, sa the Pope, I stood in St Peter's
square, ere's twenty thoosan folk ere, I'm staunin and the
Pope came richt doon and spoke tae us. G'awa, fit did he say?
He said, 'fa the hell cut yer heid?' Laughs. [Applause.]
16
I'll tell ye this een an a. But, in oor hoose see, there's
a gey heap. Well there wis, they're a mairried and awa. An,
I wis at a concert ae nicht and ma youngest daughter wis there,
and this man turned roon tae ma youngest daughter and said,
ken is it must be a scream in your hoose. And she says, yer
quite right, he screams fen he comes in till he goes oot.
Laughs. [Applause.]
This is the song of the Lavender Trousers.
17
I know what the people are looking at
I know why they're looking at me
It's at my old lavender trousers
That my father bought tae me
He bought tae me, fen I was wee
That I'd be a todd
And I've worn them ever since
And I'll never take them off
In my old lavender trousers
I've often danced and skated
I learned tae walk, waltz and talk
And I've twice been vaccinated
I've drunk port wine, I've drunk champagne
I've been up a pole and doon again
And I've won the heart of mony a Jane
In my old lavender trousers
Now one day I went out shopping
Who's the man in Lipton's shop
Who's the man in the lavender trousers
All the people got a shop
I went round the counter where I wasn't seen
And down my legs I slipped some eggs
And a roll of margarine
In my old trousers I felt rather shocking
I turned green fen the margarine
Ran right down my stocking
Oh Lipton looked for a man in blue
And a great big egg it hatched two
And a great big cock cried cock a doodle doo
In my old lavender trousers.
[Laughs. Applause.]
18
[CB] Thank you very much, Charlie. There is an old jingle
that says, 'Twa Charlies canna agree, een would fecht and
een would flee' but we dae fine.
Now would you lads, fiddlers, ye pins and timper,
fix and the ??? at wield yer fiddlesticks, but banish vile
Italian tricks, fae oot yer quorum, nae fortes wi pianas mix,
gies till a ???
[Applause.]
19
[CB] Now ladies and gentlemen, ye know what Betty Boothroyd
shouts when the house gets above itself. 'Order! Order!'.
I doot she hisnae been shoutin loud enough in certain cases.
20
This is a sad wee song, this is about a man who's unlucky
in love. It's called 'Bessie Logan'.
Bonnie Bessie Logan, she's handsome, young
and fair
and though the very wind it blows, it lingers in her hair
she's lightsome, young and lovely as she comes ower the lee
but bonnie Bessie Logan was ower-young for me.
Bonnie Bessie Logan, the lads all loo' her
style
and all come on afore her tae win her lovely smile
I fain would be among them, but ach that cannae be
for bonnie Bessie Logan was ower-young for me.
Bonnie Bessie Logan, she stole my hairt awa
and when I think upon her the tears doon softly fa'
for noo I lie wi' this sin until the day I die
for bonnie Bessie Logan was ower-young for me.
Bonnie Bessie Logan, she's handsome, young
and fair
and though the very wind it blows, it lingers in her hair
she's lightsome, young and lovely as she comes ower the lee
but bonnie Bessie Logan was ower-young for me.
[Applause.]
21
Right here's another song tae get ye warmed up again. So ye'll
need yer maracas, and yer bells and yer bits and pieces handy.
Pass them on to somebody who hasn't had a shot
yet.
Aye don't hog the maracas! Now this is a song
that some o ye might min aboot the theme of a song actually,
especially Charlie there, cause it really took place aboot
150 years ago. Laughs.
Thank you Ian.
Well it's aboot the whalin in Peterheid this
song. They'd a pretty hard life the whalers, some of you have
maybe heard this wee story before, but for the benefit of
those who haven't. The men of this area used tae sign up wi
the whalin companies ye see, so whoever happened tae be the
whalin company, they hid tae buy all their gear that they
needed off of the company, ye ken, a their furry boots and
their furry jackets and their harpoons and things. So they'd
set off for the arctic, into the biting winds and the freezing
cold, and very often it happened that they never caught any
whales, so they'd come back again without anything, but to
pay for the stuff that they'd bought when they first signed
up, they'd to go back again for no pay just to pay for the
stuff they'd bought on the first year out. So they'd a pretty
hard life. But this is a happy wee song, it's called the Bonnie
Ship the Diamond.
The Diamond is a ship me lads,
For the Davis Straits she's bound
And the Quay it is all garnished
With bonnie lassies round
Captain Thompson gives the order
To sail the ocean wide
Where the sun it never sets me lads
Nor darkness dims the sky.
Oh it's cheer up, me lads
Let your hearts never fail,
For the bonnie ship The Diamond
Goes a-fishing for the whale!
Along the quay at Peterheid
The lassies stand around
Wi' their shawls all pulled about them
And the sa't tears runnin' down
???? cry, my bonnie lass,
Though you be left behind
For the rose will grow on Greenland's ice
Before we change our mind.
Oh it's cheer up, me lads
Let your hearts never fail,
For the bonnie ship The Diamond
Goes a-fishing for the whale!
Here's a health to The Resolution,
Likewise the Eliza Swan
Here's a health to the Battler of Montrose
And The Diamond ship of fame
We wear the trousers o the white
And the jackets o the blue
When we return to Peterhead,
We'll hae sweethearts enoo.
Oh it's cheer up, me lads
Let your hearts never fail,
For the bonnie ship The Diamond
Goes a-fishing for the whale!
It will be bricht both day and nicht
When the Greenland lads come hame
We'll haul a lot o' oil me boys
And money to our name
We'll make the cradles for to rock
And the blankets for to tear
And every lass in Peterhead
Sing hushabye my dear!
Oh it's cheer up, me lads
Let your hearts never fail,
For the bonnie ship The Diamond
Goes a-fishing for the whale!
Oh it's cheer up, me lads
Let your hearts never fail,
For the bonnie ship The Diamond
Goes a-fishing for the whale!
22
[CB] Stay where you are, stay where you are lads. That number
reminds me, I think it's a sea shanty, 'We'll drink strong
ale and porter and we'll make the tap room roar, and when
our money's all spent and gone, come on, we'll go round Cape
Horn the morn'.
That's one to think about. On ye go lads.
23
[Belly Band] Your favourite fong solk?
Favourite folk song, yes. Terribly obscure
one this. You'll definitely need your tape recorder for this
een, it's so obscure, you'll never have heard this one.
This is so traditional you wouldn't believe
it.
This is more obscure than that.
Our most favourite folk song of all.
The most obscure folk song.
Now you've probably never heard this one, but
it doesn't matter. You can still play your maracas and stamp
your feet, I haven't heard much foot stamping yet. And also
you can sway side to side, you know as if you're ...
It's got a really difficult chorus so you'll
have to listen very carefully to get this chorus or else ye'll
jist be lost a the gither.
Ready are you listening?
She'll be coming round the mountain when she
comes.
She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes.
She'll be coming round the mountain, coming round the mountain
She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes.
Singing aye aye yippee yippee aye, singing
aye aye yippee yippee aye.
Singing aye aye yippee, aye aye yippee, aye aye yippee yippee
aye
She'll be riding six white horses when she
comes
She'll be riding six white horses when she comes
She'll be riding six white horses, riding six white horses
She'll be riding six white horses when she comes
Singing aye aye yippee yippee aye, singing
aye aye yippee yippee aye.
Singing aye aye yippee, aye aye yippee, aye aye yippee yippee
aye
She'll be wearing pink pyjamas when she comes
She'll be wearing pink pyjamas when she comes
She'll be wearing pink pyjamas, wearing pink pyjamas
She'll be wearing pink pyjamas when she comes
Singing aye aye yippee yippee aye, singing
aye aye yippee yippee aye.
Singing aye aye yippee, aye aye yippee, aye aye yippee yippee
aye
Oh we'll all go to meet her when she comes.
Oh we'll all go to meet her when she comes.
Oh we'll all go to meet her, all go to meet her
Oh we'll all go to meet her when she comes.
Singing aye aye yippee yippee aye, singing
aye aye yippee yippee aye.
Singing aye aye yippee, aye aye yippee, aye aye yippee yippee
aye
Oh we'll all have to sleep with granny when
she comes
Oh we'll all have to sleep with granny when she comes
Oh we'll all have to sleep with granny, all have to sleep
with granny
Oh we'll all have to sleep with granny when she comes
Singing aye aye yippee yippee aye, singing
aye aye yippee yippee aye.
Singing aye aye yippee, aye aye yippee, aye aye yippee yippee
aye
Oh we'll have haggis and neeps when she comes
Oh we'll have haggis and neeps when she comes
Oh we'll have haggis and neeps, all have haggis and neeps
Oh we'll have haggis and neeps when she comes
Singing aye aye yippee yippee aye, singing
aye aye yippee yippee aye.
Singing aye aye yippee, aye aye yippee, aye aye yippee yippee
aye
Right are you ready for a little competition
here. I think we'll have the ladies versus the men. So the
chorus only, ladies first, then the men. And Charlie'll tell
us who's won and buy the winners all a drink. Laughs. Ready
ladies only.
Singing aye aye yippee yippee aye, singing
aye aye yippee yippee aye.
Singing aye aye yippee, aye aye yippee, aye aye yippee yippee
aye
What do you think of that. Nae bad, nae bad.
Right are you ready gentlemen?
Singing aye aye yippee yippee aye, singing
aye aye yippee yippee aye.
Singing aye aye yippee, aye aye yippee, aye aye yippee yippee
aye
Altogether now! Altogether.
Singing aye aye yippee yippee aye, singing
aye aye yippee yippee aye.
Singing aye aye yippee, aye aye yippee, aye aye yippee yippee
aye
So we'll go over now to the judge.
24
[CB] Well now you see, seeing that the ladies and the grannies
tend to be the better attenders of the two sexes, I think
I will make discretion the better part of valour. Except may
I, with great respect and appreciation, invite the gentlemen
to come along and form a male voice choir. Laughs. [Applause.]
25
[CB] I'll keep the floor boys. But you know one gets some
strange requests. The other night just about bed time, there
wis a lady phoned me up and says 'how would you write a valentine
in Buchan, in the Buchan Doric'. So I said well, let me sleep
on it and I'll put something in the post. So I put a few examples,
'Postie, postie, her address, is next er grunnie's Elphin
place, this is the richt private mail, so see ye hand it tae
hersel'. Or Ian this is one that you might try out on your
classes, and you too, Ken, this has a geographical basis.
'Norway, Belgium Sweden, France. Fit aboot a wee romance?
Texas, Cuba, Argentine, will ye be my valentine'. Or alternatively,
and this is the last one. 'I'm lookin for a bonny lad, I rether
think ye'll dae, yer fruity as a currant dad, I'd love ye
for ma tea'. [Laughs.]
26
A couple of waltz tunes ladies and gentlemen, slow it doon
a bittie I think.
[Music.]
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